My sister-in-law's best friend was murdered 12 years ago. I didn't live at home when this happened, no did I know my brother's wife that well.
Finally justice was served and the felon was convicted to 20 years, let's not talk about plea bargains!
I get a call from Stacy asking if I would listen to what she was going to read during the victims statement segment of the hearing. I was at a friend's house so I moved away from my friends to take her call, family is important and I figured she needed to talk. Her letter made me cry. I don't like crying, let alone in someone elses' house where they can see and hear me. Stacy and I talked about the letter and that the criminal should hear how much grief he caused in her life, and the fact that her children never knew their godmother. They were too young when she was murdered. A hit was put out on her by her husband's ex girlfriend. Ex before his marriage in all fairness to him.
When the time came to read the beautiful letter, she couldn't read the part about what silly things she and her friend would do together. She only told of the person he took away from her. She called to tell me this and I knew she was looking for validation that it was okay, She really didn't want him to know the fun parts of their friendship, didn't think he deserved it. I'm not so sure. I think he should have heard about the fun these two teenagers/young adults had together. He took orders from someone else to kill her, he didn't even know her, so yes, I think it's time you got to know her so you can think her from time to time when you are in prison for the crime you committed.
I was straightforward with my opinion when Stacy asked, but, I was also sympathetic. Sometimes I don't understand what people want me to say, and I think that's a good thing, because then I say what should be said because there is no filter on my brain. I am not mean, I think sometimes my statements are like a little kid who says what they are observing not knowing the adults are trying to avoid say there is a pink elephant in the room.
Maybe, even though I continue to be told I'm not quite right( and all the pills I take validates that) I am just what the doctor ordered.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Wounded Warrior
My son had thousands of post it notes placed all over his car two weekends ago by girls doing that silly teenager thing. Taking them off left adhesive from every note. Getting off left streaks in the paint of the car.
Angry yes! Very much so.
As I was trying the different waxes that I had available I thought of a friend whose husband details his cars so they look like knew every week. I called to asked for advice and he said he would be happy to help get the adhesive off right then. She mentioned her son, who was home from Afganistan because an IED hit his Humvee was dropping by, I said maybe another time would be better. "No, come now", she said. It wouldn't be a problem. It is only a 5 minute drive and he was there when we arrived.
Here is were things work the way they should. You see Mark was home because when his Humvee was hit he suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, that's what the military calls them. When he opened the door there he stood in his dark glasses, he is light sensitive, in I walk in my dark glasses because I too am light sensitive, and thus we meet.
I spent the next two hours or so talking to him about the accident, thankfully no one was killed, therapy and life. I was able to help him speak his frustrations and actually understand and sympathize. Complain about therapy and wish that people understood just because we look normal and can speak, for the most part, normally, we are struggling. I gave him suggestions on how to cope with noise etc. The interesting thing was when I mentioned earplugs he had been looking at buying the purple ones you can buy at drugstores but just didn't do it. When I told him the benefits of having them on hand he understood and said he would probably buy them. I think I will drop some off at his mother's house for him! I mentioned that I had the military issued earplugs from my audiologist, he said "yeah, they issued those to use but we never wear them." When I explained when and why I would wear mine, and how I appreciated the audiologist giving me a pair, his attitude towards them changed. I told him to get his standard issue earplugs out and start wearing then in noisy situations and he may not get headaches in noisy situations because he will be dimming the noise level.
There's more, but, I waited two weeks after the fact to post this.
So from anger, the adhesive stuck all over the paint of my son's car, something positive came. I don't know if I would have ever met Mark, let alone have a one on one conversation with him and give him hope. I am open to talking about my life, my accident, the way I compensate just to live daily for my on healing, and if it will help someone else think differently about their situation and work harder to heal.
I helped someone who put his life on the line for our country that day. A Wounded Warrior. I was very proud to have contributed to his recovery and he knows how to find me just to talk if he wants to talk about his continued recovery.
Life has a way of putting you in the path of someone that needs you, don't move out of the way!
Angry yes! Very much so.
As I was trying the different waxes that I had available I thought of a friend whose husband details his cars so they look like knew every week. I called to asked for advice and he said he would be happy to help get the adhesive off right then. She mentioned her son, who was home from Afganistan because an IED hit his Humvee was dropping by, I said maybe another time would be better. "No, come now", she said. It wouldn't be a problem. It is only a 5 minute drive and he was there when we arrived.
Here is were things work the way they should. You see Mark was home because when his Humvee was hit he suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, that's what the military calls them. When he opened the door there he stood in his dark glasses, he is light sensitive, in I walk in my dark glasses because I too am light sensitive, and thus we meet.
I spent the next two hours or so talking to him about the accident, thankfully no one was killed, therapy and life. I was able to help him speak his frustrations and actually understand and sympathize. Complain about therapy and wish that people understood just because we look normal and can speak, for the most part, normally, we are struggling. I gave him suggestions on how to cope with noise etc. The interesting thing was when I mentioned earplugs he had been looking at buying the purple ones you can buy at drugstores but just didn't do it. When I told him the benefits of having them on hand he understood and said he would probably buy them. I think I will drop some off at his mother's house for him! I mentioned that I had the military issued earplugs from my audiologist, he said "yeah, they issued those to use but we never wear them." When I explained when and why I would wear mine, and how I appreciated the audiologist giving me a pair, his attitude towards them changed. I told him to get his standard issue earplugs out and start wearing then in noisy situations and he may not get headaches in noisy situations because he will be dimming the noise level.
There's more, but, I waited two weeks after the fact to post this.
So from anger, the adhesive stuck all over the paint of my son's car, something positive came. I don't know if I would have ever met Mark, let alone have a one on one conversation with him and give him hope. I am open to talking about my life, my accident, the way I compensate just to live daily for my on healing, and if it will help someone else think differently about their situation and work harder to heal.
I helped someone who put his life on the line for our country that day. A Wounded Warrior. I was very proud to have contributed to his recovery and he knows how to find me just to talk if he wants to talk about his continued recovery.
Life has a way of putting you in the path of someone that needs you, don't move out of the way!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
9/11, to my friend who survived
I had a college friend with whom i travelled through Europe; she ran down the stairs of one of the twin towers to save her life. We lost touch that day after i found out she was safe and it was many years before we spoke to each other again. from 2001-2013.of courseChristmas cards were exchanged. i decided on New Years day 2013 we would speak to each other again, I found her at her mother's house and we began to build our relationship back. and so we have. i wanted to share my text i sent to her this morning on this day i know is very difficult for her.
We both have travelled difficult journeys, life threatening yet different for both of us. I wish I could have, and could be there for you as you heal and must be reminded on days like today of the hardest and scariest fight for your life. Daily I am reminded of mine. There are no words anyone can say to change memories. I stand with you because I know from being your friend and traveling in Europe with you, that you are one tough "cookie". Your word not mine. :). We may have lost touch for awhile but I stand with you and will walk with you through anything because you know I care for you. You have to hold my hand no matter what, because my balance is horrible and I stumble and sometimes fall. ;). But I get back up again and continue my journey just like you do with yours. I send my love today and every day.
Our Friendship is important to me and she texted back how happy she was that we reconnected and that my words meant a lot to her. Today was a day when I felt words should be personal to each survivor of that horrible day. Speak to someone about their personnel struggle not just with cliches. They've heard them for the past 12 years.
I missed my friend, she is a survivor like me and we will walk together through life supporting each other from now on.
We both have travelled difficult journeys, life threatening yet different for both of us. I wish I could have, and could be there for you as you heal and must be reminded on days like today of the hardest and scariest fight for your life. Daily I am reminded of mine. There are no words anyone can say to change memories. I stand with you because I know from being your friend and traveling in Europe with you, that you are one tough "cookie". Your word not mine. :). We may have lost touch for awhile but I stand with you and will walk with you through anything because you know I care for you. You have to hold my hand no matter what, because my balance is horrible and I stumble and sometimes fall. ;). But I get back up again and continue my journey just like you do with yours. I send my love today and every day.
Our Friendship is important to me and she texted back how happy she was that we reconnected and that my words meant a lot to her. Today was a day when I felt words should be personal to each survivor of that horrible day. Speak to someone about their personnel struggle not just with cliches. They've heard them for the past 12 years.
I missed my friend, she is a survivor like me and we will walk together through life supporting each other from now on.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Too many people riding bikes without helmets
Everyday in my day to day life I see so many people riding bikes without helmets. I just want to stop them and tell my story. I run to help my brain and for enjoyment. What you see is this woman running, what you don't know is the infernal work that goes on just for me to be on that running path. The headaches, off balance, being startled by bikers who don't have the common courtsy to tell you they are "coming in the left". And yes the riders who are in clubs do have helmets on, the recreation bikers do not. I want to stop them and tell them my story and tell them I had a helmet on! I don't think the will listen. I have neighbors who know what happened to me and they even helped my family, they still allow their kids to ride without helmets!
People, we cannot avoid #accidents, but we can help ourselves by using the safety equipment made available to us to help keep us save! I should know a simple helmet saved my life. I don't know where this post was supposed to go but I ran six miles yesterday and ended it with a headache and off balance. The tempuature was 88 degrees. I had to make sure my feet and shoulders were lined up correctly as I ran, which gave me a headache and the run wasn't mindless like they used to be. But I did it. Wear a helmet, wear the safety equipment for your sport, you are not cool if you don't, you are an accident waiting to happen. And I hope you can recover from it, or that you are still alive. Pretty dark way to end a post but the truth my save your life. I don't edit my own work vey well because of my limitations but I think you get my point. Enjoy life but do it safely.
Now I hope I can find this blog again when I have something to say.
People, we cannot avoid #accidents, but we can help ourselves by using the safety equipment made available to us to help keep us save! I should know a simple helmet saved my life. I don't know where this post was supposed to go but I ran six miles yesterday and ended it with a headache and off balance. The tempuature was 88 degrees. I had to make sure my feet and shoulders were lined up correctly as I ran, which gave me a headache and the run wasn't mindless like they used to be. But I did it. Wear a helmet, wear the safety equipment for your sport, you are not cool if you don't, you are an accident waiting to happen. And I hope you can recover from it, or that you are still alive. Pretty dark way to end a post but the truth my save your life. I don't edit my own work vey well because of my limitations but I think you get my point. Enjoy life but do it safely.
Now I hope I can find this blog again when I have something to say.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Yes, I lost the paper work, haven't found it yet.
Yes, I lost the real estate tax bill, the quarterly tax bills and the handset to the phone. I swallowed my pride and went to the county treasurers office to ask for copies. As I sat down in the chair the alarm went off. I explained to the clerk I have seizures as I reached of my earplugs and my medical bracelet. She said let me get you out as soon as possible before it goes off again, there is a glitch in the system and it has been doing that all morning. The headache and panic was already starting as I reached for my ear plugs first. She asked my last name confirmed my address I think because I just wanted to get out by this time, and before I knew she had my copies.
You never know when you walk into a building how the environment will affect you, that is the downside of a head injury, I don't think you ever completely heal I think we just learn to cope. But, sometimes things like this catch you off guard and you have no control I did what I could, got the information I needed and I will now have to lay down and try to reduce my headache for the rest of the afternoon.
It's okay, you do the best you can, and if you have an understanding family like mine, you will make it through this day. Every day is a different day and today I have to make it through this challenge.
You never know when you walk into a building how the environment will affect you, that is the downside of a head injury, I don't think you ever completely heal I think we just learn to cope. But, sometimes things like this catch you off guard and you have no control I did what I could, got the information I needed and I will now have to lay down and try to reduce my headache for the rest of the afternoon.
It's okay, you do the best you can, and if you have an understanding family like mine, you will make it through this day. Every day is a different day and today I have to make it through this challenge.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Still mixing up my medicine doses. I know it is not easy, keep trying!
I created more neurons, I hope, by running this morning. Still can't find the real estate tax coupons nor the quarterly tax coupons. I going to have to swallow my pride and hope they will send new ones to me.
I forgot to take my medicine on Saturday night and no one was here to remind me so I am sluggish. It is amazing how missing one dose can cause such a reaction.
I saw a mother a few days ago walking with her young daughter while the daughter road her bike with no helmet. While we talked about dogs and other stuff because the family was fairly new to the neighborhood I asked if I could share something with them even if it wasn't any of my business and the mom said yes. So I proceeded to tell them about my head injury and my long journey back. I receive many compliments on my currents status but I also tell them what it took to get here. The mother said the daughter asked if she had to wear her helmet and the mom told her no. I told them bother why it was important to always have a helmet on because it is just a simple thing that can cause you to fall. Don't I know it! Of course they said from now on she would have on her helmet, I hate to say I don't believe them, but I tried.
I don't really know what this blog is about but I felt I needed to write my thoughts because I remembered how to get to this page and post something. That is a big accomplishment for me..I can't count the spelling errors you don't see in this writing because I get the little red line and then I have to figure out what I did wrong and correct it. My anti seizure medicine is kicking in so everything is getting a little blurring so if I have more thoughts or insights I might add them later. Just remember this is for those of you who are trying to rehabilitate your brain from a head injury/concussion whatever you condition may be. It is all a journey and I my be farther along than you write now,but in 2007 I couldn't us either hand, my shoulder and elbow were broken an my thumb was slashed. Let alone I had little ability to put thoughts together. Work hard, find the best you and remember life is a journey, keep walking!
I forgot to take my medicine on Saturday night and no one was here to remind me so I am sluggish. It is amazing how missing one dose can cause such a reaction.
I saw a mother a few days ago walking with her young daughter while the daughter road her bike with no helmet. While we talked about dogs and other stuff because the family was fairly new to the neighborhood I asked if I could share something with them even if it wasn't any of my business and the mom said yes. So I proceeded to tell them about my head injury and my long journey back. I receive many compliments on my currents status but I also tell them what it took to get here. The mother said the daughter asked if she had to wear her helmet and the mom told her no. I told them bother why it was important to always have a helmet on because it is just a simple thing that can cause you to fall. Don't I know it! Of course they said from now on she would have on her helmet, I hate to say I don't believe them, but I tried.
I don't really know what this blog is about but I felt I needed to write my thoughts because I remembered how to get to this page and post something. That is a big accomplishment for me..I can't count the spelling errors you don't see in this writing because I get the little red line and then I have to figure out what I did wrong and correct it. My anti seizure medicine is kicking in so everything is getting a little blurring so if I have more thoughts or insights I might add them later. Just remember this is for those of you who are trying to rehabilitate your brain from a head injury/concussion whatever you condition may be. It is all a journey and I my be farther along than you write now,but in 2007 I couldn't us either hand, my shoulder and elbow were broken an my thumb was slashed. Let alone I had little ability to put thoughts together. Work hard, find the best you and remember life is a journey, keep walking!
Friday, August 23, 2013
Boy I wish I could run the half marathon in October
I want to start running again but when I was in physical therapy twice this summer I was unable to run now it's harder because they've changed my running mechanics and I have to think about how I'm running I can't enjoy a morning run when I am trying to think am I up straight are my legs right and I'm out of breath because I haven't run in so long . there's the Clayton Half Marathon in October but o will end up back in PT if I push to get ready for that. And Darren had the nerve to ask me if I thought I could be ready at the same time he is telling me not to push myself!
I guess I should have put this in my earlier blog but it didn't seem to fit with the story so this will be a short second blog for today. And no I still haven't found those papers!!!!!
I guess I should have put this in my earlier blog but it didn't seem to fit with the story so this will be a short second blog for today. And no I still haven't found those papers!!!!!
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