My sister-in-law's best friend was murdered 12 years ago. I didn't live at home when this happened, no did I know my brother's wife that well.
Finally justice was served and the felon was convicted to 20 years, let's not talk about plea bargains!
I get a call from Stacy asking if I would listen to what she was going to read during the victims statement segment of the hearing. I was at a friend's house so I moved away from my friends to take her call, family is important and I figured she needed to talk. Her letter made me cry. I don't like crying, let alone in someone elses' house where they can see and hear me. Stacy and I talked about the letter and that the criminal should hear how much grief he caused in her life, and the fact that her children never knew their godmother. They were too young when she was murdered. A hit was put out on her by her husband's ex girlfriend. Ex before his marriage in all fairness to him.
When the time came to read the beautiful letter, she couldn't read the part about what silly things she and her friend would do together. She only told of the person he took away from her. She called to tell me this and I knew she was looking for validation that it was okay, She really didn't want him to know the fun parts of their friendship, didn't think he deserved it. I'm not so sure. I think he should have heard about the fun these two teenagers/young adults had together. He took orders from someone else to kill her, he didn't even know her, so yes, I think it's time you got to know her so you can think her from time to time when you are in prison for the crime you committed.
I was straightforward with my opinion when Stacy asked, but, I was also sympathetic. Sometimes I don't understand what people want me to say, and I think that's a good thing, because then I say what should be said because there is no filter on my brain. I am not mean, I think sometimes my statements are like a little kid who says what they are observing not knowing the adults are trying to avoid say there is a pink elephant in the room.
Maybe, even though I continue to be told I'm not quite right( and all the pills I take validates that) I am just what the doctor ordered.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Wounded Warrior
My son had thousands of post it notes placed all over his car two weekends ago by girls doing that silly teenager thing. Taking them off left adhesive from every note. Getting off left streaks in the paint of the car.
Angry yes! Very much so.
As I was trying the different waxes that I had available I thought of a friend whose husband details his cars so they look like knew every week. I called to asked for advice and he said he would be happy to help get the adhesive off right then. She mentioned her son, who was home from Afganistan because an IED hit his Humvee was dropping by, I said maybe another time would be better. "No, come now", she said. It wouldn't be a problem. It is only a 5 minute drive and he was there when we arrived.
Here is were things work the way they should. You see Mark was home because when his Humvee was hit he suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, that's what the military calls them. When he opened the door there he stood in his dark glasses, he is light sensitive, in I walk in my dark glasses because I too am light sensitive, and thus we meet.
I spent the next two hours or so talking to him about the accident, thankfully no one was killed, therapy and life. I was able to help him speak his frustrations and actually understand and sympathize. Complain about therapy and wish that people understood just because we look normal and can speak, for the most part, normally, we are struggling. I gave him suggestions on how to cope with noise etc. The interesting thing was when I mentioned earplugs he had been looking at buying the purple ones you can buy at drugstores but just didn't do it. When I told him the benefits of having them on hand he understood and said he would probably buy them. I think I will drop some off at his mother's house for him! I mentioned that I had the military issued earplugs from my audiologist, he said "yeah, they issued those to use but we never wear them." When I explained when and why I would wear mine, and how I appreciated the audiologist giving me a pair, his attitude towards them changed. I told him to get his standard issue earplugs out and start wearing then in noisy situations and he may not get headaches in noisy situations because he will be dimming the noise level.
There's more, but, I waited two weeks after the fact to post this.
So from anger, the adhesive stuck all over the paint of my son's car, something positive came. I don't know if I would have ever met Mark, let alone have a one on one conversation with him and give him hope. I am open to talking about my life, my accident, the way I compensate just to live daily for my on healing, and if it will help someone else think differently about their situation and work harder to heal.
I helped someone who put his life on the line for our country that day. A Wounded Warrior. I was very proud to have contributed to his recovery and he knows how to find me just to talk if he wants to talk about his continued recovery.
Life has a way of putting you in the path of someone that needs you, don't move out of the way!
Angry yes! Very much so.
As I was trying the different waxes that I had available I thought of a friend whose husband details his cars so they look like knew every week. I called to asked for advice and he said he would be happy to help get the adhesive off right then. She mentioned her son, who was home from Afganistan because an IED hit his Humvee was dropping by, I said maybe another time would be better. "No, come now", she said. It wouldn't be a problem. It is only a 5 minute drive and he was there when we arrived.
Here is were things work the way they should. You see Mark was home because when his Humvee was hit he suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury, that's what the military calls them. When he opened the door there he stood in his dark glasses, he is light sensitive, in I walk in my dark glasses because I too am light sensitive, and thus we meet.
I spent the next two hours or so talking to him about the accident, thankfully no one was killed, therapy and life. I was able to help him speak his frustrations and actually understand and sympathize. Complain about therapy and wish that people understood just because we look normal and can speak, for the most part, normally, we are struggling. I gave him suggestions on how to cope with noise etc. The interesting thing was when I mentioned earplugs he had been looking at buying the purple ones you can buy at drugstores but just didn't do it. When I told him the benefits of having them on hand he understood and said he would probably buy them. I think I will drop some off at his mother's house for him! I mentioned that I had the military issued earplugs from my audiologist, he said "yeah, they issued those to use but we never wear them." When I explained when and why I would wear mine, and how I appreciated the audiologist giving me a pair, his attitude towards them changed. I told him to get his standard issue earplugs out and start wearing then in noisy situations and he may not get headaches in noisy situations because he will be dimming the noise level.
There's more, but, I waited two weeks after the fact to post this.
So from anger, the adhesive stuck all over the paint of my son's car, something positive came. I don't know if I would have ever met Mark, let alone have a one on one conversation with him and give him hope. I am open to talking about my life, my accident, the way I compensate just to live daily for my on healing, and if it will help someone else think differently about their situation and work harder to heal.
I helped someone who put his life on the line for our country that day. A Wounded Warrior. I was very proud to have contributed to his recovery and he knows how to find me just to talk if he wants to talk about his continued recovery.
Life has a way of putting you in the path of someone that needs you, don't move out of the way!
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